Dear
Ones,
Shhh!. Hush.
Be quiet. What do these words
convey? Perhaps you picture a library,
the theater, or church. Quiet is also used
as an unforgiving tool. Giving someone the cold shoulder or withdrawing your
words in anger and saying with satisfaction—I’ll never speak to you again. Another negative take on silence.
Then
focus on solitude, a word that conjures up negative images too. Think solitary confinement or for a
child…time out. And we all know what it means to be labeled a LONER. Tsssk, tssk.
Not good. No. In our wired, networking,
multi tasking universe, one should embrace social contacts, be upbeat, be
friended on facebook. In short, always
be out there. Wherever that is? Our culture doesn’t particularly revere
silence and stillness and time alone.
And let’s not go to multi tasking.
You see it all the time. In the
restaurant folks texting and talking on their cell and eating a sandwich and oh
yes…listening to you. Not really. Distractions leave us scattered and
inefficient and tense.
Stillness
and silence and solitude, far from restrictions or punishments are anodynes to the soul. A value can’t be
placed on the calmness, these pursuits bring to our life. The mystics and wise
men/women have practiced meditation and sought solitude down through the
ages. So why don’t we seek out stillness
and aloneness more often? We can go to great lengths to ‘not be alone’. It’s a conundrum.
My
take on it is that society places such a high value on being busy. Being retired (which most of us BOB’s are) we
should have ample time to pursue stillness and solitude but many of us are busy
busy bees. Here I must say that in no
way do I mean one should close the door and stay inside. What I’m saying is we
need time to ponder, time to watch the butterflies or just stare at the wall
and find inner stillness. To define
solitude, the best way to put it is that being alone is a condition where you
are by yourself. Lonely is how you feel
about it. Seeking solitude enriches us
and literally fills our pitchers when they become empty. Quiet time, contemplation, Quakers call it
centering. You can do it out in the
garden weeding or in your favorite reading chair or by walking. This practice of quietness recharges us. The
benefits are numerous and its so easy.
Not
really. All these profound sayings make
it appear easy. Oh yes. But the hard fact is that life butts in. Everywhere there is noise and distractions
and one gets caught up in a tangle of activity.
For to be silent is a challenging discipline and to look inward can be
uncomfortable.
Upon
reflection, its all about balance isn’t it?
Balancing the outward and the inward life. Balancing duties with pleasures. Balancing needs and desires. All through life we strive for that perfect
mix. A challenge. Growing older, it should get easier…but does
it?
“There is a solitude which we carry
within us more inaccessible that ice cold mountains, more profound than the midnight sea—the solitude of self.”
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
